It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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