No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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