Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
