Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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