your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
