were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
