Do vagina's smell?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
