glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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