Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
