i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
