But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
