why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
