Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
