THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
