best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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