I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
