I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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