she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
