Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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