he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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