Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
