fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
