I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
