Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
