that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
how does that bad decision feel?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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