I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
