what day is it and did you see me today?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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