You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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