yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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