Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
