girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
