Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
