it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
