I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
