just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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