I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
