i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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