Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
two words: eviction party
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
