Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
