I wish I could teleport
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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