haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
