benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
