i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
