There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
