He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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