I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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