one might say we're banned from that church
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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