I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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