My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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