We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
