Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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