I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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