how can u be prego again
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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