i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
