I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
