babies were throwing up all over the place
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
