do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
