Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
