You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am midnight drunk by noon
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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