yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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