Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
