Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
