Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
